A body at rest

I’ve started half a dozen new posts in the past couple weeks - here’s another - and yet I hadn’t been able to finish anything. I’m feeling very writer’s-block-ish, and I’m starting to think it has something to do with the fact that I haven’t been working for a few weeks now. A little downtime is good for the soul, but after a while things start to stagnate. 

A body at rest tends to stay at rest...

The Flow that comes with creative endeavors bleeds over into the rest of your life, into other creative endeavors, into your activity level, your diet. I’ve pretty much been “on vacation” for the past two weeks, and I’ve reached the point where my “flow” has pretty much trickled out. I’m not really writing, not working on music, not really getting much exercise other than a “walk” with Henry down to the rock pile on the corner. I’m starting to feel static, flat. 

I’ve been working on this post on and off for an hour now, between Facebook checks and coffee breaks, and something just came to me. I’ve been on vacation! Is this what vacation feels like? At first it’s great to do nothing and then after a while you’re dying to have some momentum and get back to work?

Aha! Lightbuld. I’m not stuck in a rut; I’m just coming to the end of vacation. Problem solved.

Although I will still need to figure out how to balance being a “stay at home mom” for the next two months with all the work I need to to prepare for next season. I’ve got two operas to review and three new roles to learn, including one in Russian. Not exactly something I can pick up and be ready for in a day. Some daily armchair work or note learning or practicing will have to be part of my days with Henry. We’re looking at finding a preschool / drop-in day care place for him while we’re there. He has LOVED going to school with my mom every day here in SC, so we’re thinking that a couple mornings a week would be good for him. Plus it would give me some built-in study time. Win-win, as they say. 

As with any vacation, it ends with packing the suitcases and hitting the road, so I need to start sweeping the house for all our things. But maybe after one more cup of coffee...

Hello again, Part 1

Remember when I started a blog and then fell off the face of the earth?

I suspected that might happen occasionally, and it’s just going to have to be ok. Blogs that have content five days a week probably come from people with more consistent structure than we have, and it’s foolish of me to hold myself to that same standard. I’ll write when I have time and something to say; forcing it will only make it (yet another) chore.

So, why did we disappear for two weeks? Several reasons, I think, not the least of which was post-show let down! I was so sad to say goodbye to Figaro. It was an amazing experience on so many levels: a great cast full of friends, old and new; a wonderful director who challenged and brought out the best in us; a fantastic and supportive company; and a tour experience, singing 8 shows in 3 cities over 4 weeks. A memorable two months. Thank you, Virginia Opera!

(Have I posted pictures here yet? I don’t think so! I put up quite a few on our Facebook page; I’m so happy with how they turned out.)

But we move on. We have another couple weeks of here-and-there life before B starts his summer work in St. Louis. Henry has been drowning in grandparent love and affection, enjoying tractor rides in Virginia and preschool with “Bambi” in South Carolina. He has also somehow managed to potty train in the middle of all this upheaval. I’m so proud of him - and not at all sad to say goodbye to diapers! 

We’ve also been trying to get back to our preferred diet of Real Food  and not too many sweets; we all feel better and behave better when we can stick to that way of eating. Unfortunately, like so many things worth doing, it takes time and organization, two things I have a hard time finding on the road. It’s just so much easier to grab processed foods! One of my goals for my time as a “stay at home mom” while we’re in St. Louis is to make more of our favorite treats at home. Pinterest is awash with clean eating recipes; I’d like to pick one a week and make it with Henry. Do you have a favorite “make it yourself” recipe, something you make instead of buy? What diet guidelines does your family try to live by?

B & I are in the middle of a little fitness challenge, mostly just competing with each other to get ourselves back in the habit of exercising. I gained a few pounds after the Figaro rehearsal process ended because I kept eating as if I were still rehearsing Susanna six hours a day! It’s been nice to get back into a yoga groove and see my muscles peeking out at me after several years of disuse. B is currently in NYC for a gig and an audition, taking advantage of the NYC Workout Plan, aka walking walking walking! I am desparately waiting for spring to really show up so we can start taking family walks and bike rides and hikes.

So you see, we may be in the middle of regularly scheduled chaos, but we’re trying to keep it together, trying to grow and improve and enjoy this crazy life. One day at a time...

Monday Miscellany

There are so many things I want to share this week that warrant their own thoughtful post, so I'm hoping to carve our more time for writing this week. Until then...


I gave B a knife skills class for Christmas, and now we're both obsessed with our chef's knife! I love these tutorials; I always wondered how to shred cabbage!

I wish I were in NYC to see this at the NYC Film Festival. Dessay is my kind of singing-actress!

Next winter, imagine battle NYC's dry winter air with this.

A great post on the merits of studying music in college.

Yes, PLEASE. Let's make the conversation about jobs and kids one that involves both sexes.

This article explains why I don't (often) put filters on my crappy iPhone pics. Definitely going to write more about this...



Have a great week!

Order out of Chaos, Part 2

(After I wrote this post, I realized it is a partner to this post. So let’s call it a series, as I have a feeling I’m going to be talking about “the R-word” a lot here on this blog...) 

I don’t know why I always couch discussions of our Routine in terms of Henry’s needs; I crave structure and routine just as much as he does, if not more. And not just routine, but order. That whole “a place for everything yada yada yada” is hard to live by when the place is different every 3-6 weeks. I feel like my life is comprised of nothing but packing, unpacking, organizing, cleaning - and then repacking and starting it all over again. 

For the past week we’ve been staying with B’s folks outside Richmond, which meant we had to commute up to Fairfax for performances over the weekend. We spent the night on Friday, so we packed up a small overnight bag. No big deal, right? But! In order to clear out a suitcase to take, I had to empty all of Henry’s clothes onto the extra bed, and I had to take a few things from this bag and a few from that and where is the phone charger? and don’t forget your music and on and on. Now the weekend - 12 hours of driving and 8 hours of performing - is over... and everything needs to find its way back to Order.

How I wish I were the kind of person who thrived in chaos! As a military “brat,” I had the luxury of reinventing myself every time we moved. I remember distinctly deciding, the summer before 5th grade, that when we moved in the fall I would turn over a new leaf and get organized. Until that point, I had regularly been That Kid, running screaming for the school bus, “wait for me!!” because I was slow and disorganized and dawdled over my breakfast. I was ready to gain some control over my environment, so when we moved to Maine (way, way up north), I became “a neat freak.”

B said he understood this aspect of my personality when he heard an interview with Stephen Sondheim. He likes to do crosswords every day, and when the interviewer asked him why, he said that he likes to “make order out of chaos.” Order out of chaos. My constant desire.

It’s really about control, isn’t it? As a military brat, I had very little control as my environment shifted every few years. Now, as an itinerant musician, it’s the same. I’m not in my own kitchen, bedroom, closet, bathroom for more than a few months out of the year. I feel displaced. So I try as best I create a feeling of order, of Place. Sometimes it works, but...

These days I’ve got three people’s stuff to order. So much stuff!! How I also wish I were the kind of person who could pack three pair of pants and five tops and call it good. We are NOT light packers in this family. Clothes and toys and extra sweaters and books and kitchen supplies and more clothes and toys and books.

Hmm. I might be on to something here. I’m fighting this problem from both sides! Maybe the key to each is in the other. Pack less, have less chaos to control. 

I’ll have to work on that...

Checking in

Remember when I said this month was going to be crazy?

Yeah. Well, it has begun. We relocated to Richmond on Tuesday, "moving in" with B's parents for a couple weeks. Henry made the transition seamlessly; he's thrilled to be spending time with his grandparents. (And if you'll allow me a parenting brag, he didn't have any potty-training regression when we made the move! No more diapers!)

We've had a couple of quiet days, hitting the Science Museum in Richmond, riding bikes and tractors (aka lawn mowers), and running and rolling around the big back yard. We've mostly maintained our preferred family rhythm, just embellished with grandparent time! I haven't quite found my writing rhythm here yet, but I didn't want to let too many days go by without a post.

Packing to leave Norfolk was not too bad; it's so much easier to pack up a "home on the road" than it is to pack up and leave Home. You just take all the stuff that is yours, everything you came with, and pack it up! No need to hem and haw and decide what to take and what to leave. The hardest part was saying goodbye to Beverly, the sweet lady who sits at the apartment front desk and who formed a deep bond with Henry. True, that bond was formed mostly because she gave him treats every time she saw him, but there was a very sweet "mutual admiration society" going on there. Add her to the long list of wonderful people we know so briefly in this lifestyle...

Tomorrow B & I drive up to Fairfax and get back into Figaro-land! We'll spend the night up there, come back home on Saturday, and then drive up again for the Sunday matinee. Lots of driving time for us, but it's worth it for Henry to have a settled place with people he loves. We hope to connect with several friends from our summers at Wolf Trap, hosts and colleagues and friends. And, I'm not going to deny it, I'm really looking forward to sleeping in a hotel bed. Pillows!!

I can't wait to see how our show has grown as it has had time to "simmer" over the past few days. We'll brush-up on the recitatives a few hours before the show; that will help get us back in the game and - hopefully! - prevent any train wrecks on stage. We'll let you know how it goes!

Monday Miscellany

It's tax day! I just dropped off a dozen manila envelopes with the friendly post office worker here in Norfolk, one federal and eleven - yes, eleven! - state returns. I still remember the moment years ago when I realized I had to file a return for every state in which I worked. All of a sudden my traveling gig seemed much less glamorous...

B and I had our monthly finance meeting a few days ago, going over our irregular income and regular bills and seeing how they will line up for the next few months. We're getting used to big windfalls of income (for example, this month we'll make about 30% of our income for the year) followed by stretches of smaller or, as in July this year, no income. Budgeting is not our strong suit, but we are making great progress and I'm really proud of us.

Anyway, now that my big to-do list is ticked off for the day, it's time to start packing up. We'll drive to B's parents' house tomorrow, so we're taking a slow day here in Norfolk to clean and organize and pack. Here's the start of a great week!

We have a balance bike for Henry, and this is why.

Do hard things. They are worth the extra effort.

Alan Held shares his journey to Hans Sachs.

Flower sandwiches!

B and I often talk of "the monkey mind;" smartphones definitely make it harder to control.


I'm loving the weekly themes at All For the Boys; this week: Building!


Have a great week!

Logistics: making order out of chaos

Matt pointed out that our last two posts have been about food. Guess we think about eating a lot! But there is a lot more, of course: potty training, career “management” (photoshoot!) and - the big one - logistics.

The dichotomy of our lives is perfectly captured in those first two: potty-training and a photoshoot. We had an incredible 5-hour photoshoot with Glenn Fajota earlier this week, glamorous and fun and full of beautiful clothes and lights and props. (We should see the pictures today! I’m so excited!!) And then, a few days ago, Henry took a huge leap forward in the potty-training area, so we’ve been super-focused on that. 

I promise I’ll write more about both topics soon, but first let me give you a glimpse into the next few weeks of our life on the road. It goes a little something like this:

April 15th: After six weeks in Norfolk, we relocate to Richmond and live with B’s folks while finishing two weekends of Virginia Opera performances.

30th: relocate to Charlotte, SC, area for a week to stay with my folks while...

May 3-6: B goes to NYC for a concert.

8th-ish: Back to Richmond for a week before...

13th: We relocate to St. Louis, MO, where B will be singing in The Kiss at OTSL. Stay here mostly uninterrupted for six weeks, except... 

23-26: ACB goes to NYC for a concert. 

After we finish in St. Louis, we’re really not sure what’s happening. If our sublettors in NYC want to stay for an extra month, we might take our time heading back north. It’s always nice to have someone else pay your rent, right? We don’t have work in the NYC-area until August, so we *could* stay away most of the summer, but we will have been on the road for a long time by then. I’m thinking we’ll be ready to go home.

I’m going to start packing up this afternoon, hoping to send a big suitcase back to Richmond with B’s parents, who are coming to see the show tonight. A couple days ago I looked around the apartment here and realized we had things in every nook and cranny - as if we lived here! Six weeks is long enough that we start to feel like this is home. Henry gets bored and needs his toys rotated; the fridge has rotten leftovers in it; everyone is missing a sock or two. 

I’m not looking forward to the feeling of vagrancy that will hang over our heads for the next few weeks, but it’s part of the life. B & I are aleady talking about “survival strategies,” how to make sure we stay connected as a family amid the chaos. Schedules and routines (or rhythms, as we try to call them) will be crucial, making sure that each day (or week) contains many of the same elements at approximately the same times. A little anchor in the upheaval. 

Daily, we prefer that our rhythm go something like this:   breakfast, play

   out-of-the-house activity

   lunch

   quiet time (naps seem to be dwindling in frequency...)

   tv time, books

   running around like a crazy child

   dinner

   bath/books/bed

Not that involved, right? But harder than you’d think, trying to maintain that in a new place with new people and new beds and new things all the time. We’re all getting better about it, but it takes work. Not so much work, maybe, as forethought.

Weekly, we aim for a mix of out-of-the-house activities: museums, libraries, bounce houses, zoos and aquariums, gardens and farmers markets, hikes and bike rides. B is great about researching a new area to see what is available, and we’ve found some truly special and memorable places and things in our travels. The Hanover farmer’s markets, unforgettable tonkatsu in Tokyo, a wildlife safari outside Palm Beach, FL, and, most recently, the splash park at the Norfolk Botanical Garden. (The top picture was taken there yesterday, when B & I taught Henry how to roll down a hill! Always best to teach by example, right?)

As nervous as we may be about the upcoming disorder and disarray, I am excited to see what new discoveries we’ll make. New places for a new family experience, new memories, new people. 

Cheater's Pumpkin Muffins

I’m trying something new today.

It’s Matt’s turn to take first shift, and instead of sleeping for an extra hour (I got 7.5 last night; why be greedy?), I’m writing. There is beautiful light in the bedroom here in Norfolk, and my window overlooks a canal with a busy foot bridge and a row of charming townhouses, each unique. The sky is clear and the air is filled with pollen the sounds of birds and trolleys and distant traffic. I have coffee and one of my Cheater’s Pumpkin Muffins at my side. It almost feels like I have a tower, afterall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the hardest things for us on the road is eating well. Think about when you travel: do your eating habits change? Airport food, car trip food, vacation food... We kind of live in that culinary limbo 60% of the time - or more! Add to that the strange hours at which we often eat, and we’re faced with a real challenge in terms of eating well. 

Matt and I both quit fast food years ago, and we both love to cook, so we do eat a lot of our meals at home, where ever that may be at the time. We’ve learned to travel with a sharp knife and a cutting board, a basic spice kit, a box grater, and a few other kitchen things (plus a power strip, blackout curtains, and enough toys to fill FAO Schwartz, but that’s another post), because it’s always easier to cook when you have proper tools. Whenever we can, we prepare fresh ingredients in healthy ways, doing our best to combat the short-cut food and restaurant food as best we can. It’s not hard, really; just takes some planning and 30-45 minutes in the kitchen.

But baking is another story. I know that I *could* buy all the ingredients for muffins and cookies and things, but I feel guilty buying a big bag of flour/sugar/baking powder/etc., using it once, and then leaving it behind when we pack up. So I take advantage of one wonderful shortcut: the boxed cake mix. I love the feeling of taking something warm out of the oven, and I want Henry to grow up eating “homemade” treats, even if I have to cheat a little from time to time. 

So, with the help of Pinterest, I’ve perfected the pumpkin muffin. Endlessly variable, packing at least 1/2 a serving of veggies, and quick to throw together, even especially with a toddler helper.

Cheater’s Pumpkin Muffins

1 smashed ripe banana

1 14oz can purreed pumpkin (not pie filling)

1 box cake mix - your choice, we love spice cake

1 egg

Mix all ingredients, then fill muffin tins. Bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Easy as (pumpkin) pie!

Here are a few of my favorite add-in combinations:

Chocolate cake mix, nuts, chocolate chips: rich and gooey, it’s like a brownie - but with 1/2 a serving of vegetables and very little fat!

Yellow cake mix, grated carrot, chopped toasted walnuts, cream cheese frosting: your new favorite carrot cake!

Spice cake mix, oatmeal, carrots, raisins: I never feel guilty about Henry eating three of these...

The possibilities are endless! Make them as healthy or as dedadent as you like. Even if you cook in the same kitchen every day, this is a shortcut worth taking from time to time.  

Monday Miscellany

A short list this week! We are recovering from a fantastic opening night, a real dream come true. Matt sprained his thumb at the end of Act 1 and sang the rest of the night with a makeup covered Ace bandage around his hand! The show must go on.

We're prepping for a headshot / publicity shot session tomorrow with the same photographer who took these amazing pictures, Glenn Fajota. I am beyond excited!! We may or may not be using enormous feathered angel wings...

Stay tuned for pics soon! For now, some Monday Miscellany:


I'm so happy that we are in performances now; we'll have time to have days like this again...

A friend from college is working on Broadway in the new Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm so proud of him!

A beautiful post about life and work (parenting and art) existing side-by-side, intertwined. Messy. Worth it.

Are you practicing well? As with so many things, it's quality over quantity that matters.

Great idea to combine meetings and walking. Next time I schedule coffee with a friend, I might see if we can get it to go!

These Rules of Dinner are so wonderful, especially No.'s 3, 33, 49, & 77.


Have a great week!

Ah il matino alle nozze vicino!

A quick post from backstage: it's opening night and we are so excited!!

It's been a great day; we were operating on all cylinders as a family (well, minus Henry's nap which he seems to be dropping. NO!!) and everybody got the relaxation they needed. Voices feel good, dinner was eaten at 4:30, and opening night gifts are wrapped up and delivered.

Our day started on a very sweet note, with this article from the Viginian-Pilot. It's the profile they interviewed us for a few weeks ago, and boy howdy! Did she ever capture us. It is a very candid, very intimate portrait; I'm almost embarrassed by it. Almost.

We'll have more to say after our big night tonight! Here we go!!

Role-playing

Every day for the past many weeks, whenever one of us has to go to work, Henry goes through his routine lamenting our departure. There aren’t tears anymore, usually, but he says the same words in the same voice. Every time. 

So it was with great relish that we turned the tables on him earlier this week. We took advantage of the weekly rate we’d established with our sitter, asking her to take Henry our for a while so we could get a few free hours at home the day after our first dress rehearsal. As they were putting on shoes and coats, we said, “But... Henry, I don’t want you to go!”

He looked at us for a minute, and then didn’t miss a beat. “I know, Mommy, but I have to go,” exactly the words we say back to him. It was so cool! We played the scene out completely, even singing the Daniel Tiger song using Henry’s name instead of the word grownups: “Henry comes back!”

We opened to door for him and kissed him goodbye, just as he does for us, and when the door was closed, we might have high-fived each other. It felt like a parenting victory! So often the lessons we teach our children go by unnoticed, uncelebrated. But in this moment we felt like we could actually see Henry learning about saying goodbye and coming back. And sure enough, when he did come back later that afternoon, we ran to greet him and hug him, shouting, “You came back!!”

Just as he does for us. 

Meal Jet Lag

"Hey, I'm Sarah and I'll be taking care of you."

"Hey Sarah, I'm Matt and we are on a tight schedule. Can we give you our order now? Great. Oh, and you can go ahead and bring me the check? We'll settle that up so we can make a dash when we're done eating."

All of this happened yesterday prior to our first orchestra dress rehearsal. We had plenty of time to enjoy our meal and make our 5:30 make-up calls., but I did set an alarm on my iPhone for 5:15. This is a trick I have used to help me relax during hurried off-schedule meals: Order is IN. Alarm is SET. Now I can enjoy the 30-45 minutes of down time before singing. 

This is not an uncommon scene these days. We often have meals at unusual times because of our rehearsal or because we are eating on a toddler's schedule. The rehearsal schedule at most opera companies is broken up into three blocks of time. Typically 10 a.m.-1 p.m., 2 p.m.-5 p.m., or 7 p.m.-10 p.m. but sometimes 12 p.m.-3 p.m., 5 p.m.-8 p.m. or 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 430 p.m.-730p.m. You get the picture. It's not predictable.

How does this line up with our toddler's schedule? Well, it doesn't. Henry has breakfast between 7-8 a.m. He is usually ready for lunch by 11 which puts dinner around 5. I know, I know; these are nursing home meal hours, but they are MY nursing home meal hours. If you are a parent, you are familiar with these approximate hours. I spend more time with Henry than I do rehearsing operas, so my stomach stays on my home schedule. So, when we are in rehearsal from 10am-1pm, we are hungry for lunch at the short break around 11:30. Then at the lunch break at 1 p.m., we have to snack again to get through the 2 p.m.-5 p.m. rehearsal. In some ways it's like we have meal jet lag. Our bodies are telling us it is time to eat but the rest of our world is eating an hour and a half later. 

When rehearsals go until 10pm or later, it is usual for everyone to go and replenish the calories spent singing and jumping around on stage with a "meal". I love to go and grab a nice glass of wine or an adult beverage with a few small plates. But Mother Time catches up to you, and she never forgets. Too many late nights and that 7am wake-up will start to feel like a cold bucket of water dumped on your head in the middle of deep sleep. "I'm Up! I'm Up!" 

So, instead,  we come right home, relieve the babysitter, and have a glass of wine and something yummy to munch on. And then wake-up ready to see what meal confusion the new day will bring.

Promo videos!

Virginia Opera has a crackerjack media & marketing team, and we have participated in several promotional videos and interviews. In our first week here, we sat down to film a "why should I come see this opera?" video, and I love the way it turned out. Check it out!



Also, Glenn Winters, aka Dr. Opera, has a cute and quirky take on the opening duet between Figaro and Susanna. We didn't sing for this one, instead passing the baton to our covers, Virginia Opera Emerging Artists Ashley Logan and Edward Hanlon. They're great!



This morning we sent Henry off with his sitter, and we're enjoying a quiet few hours at home, playing catch-up with the business side of our lives - paying bills, writing emails, updating websites. It feels absolutely indulgent. But with both of us working on this gig, we need this catch-up time or we'll sink! It's not indulgent, it's necessary. In a way, it's work. Work I can do in my pajamas.

Aaaaahhhh....

Three days until Opening Night!

Monday Miscellany

All my favorite blogs post "weekend links," a collection of things they've taken note of during their Internet browsing through the week. I'm guessing that for those who blog as a job take the weekend off from writing, and so they put this list up to entertain their readers while they're quiet for a couple days. But we don't have "weekends," per se, so instead we'll start your week off right with our Monday Miscellany posts. Enjoy!


We talk a lot about screen time regulations for Henry, a member of the Touch Screen Generation. We limit access, but we definitely use it, both as a tool for learning and for entertaining.


I wore my hair like this for the Virginia Opera Gala last weekend. It was a perfect match for my Grecian-style gown.

I'm so happy for Lucy and her new studio! Everyone needs a room of their own, yes?

This scarf was given to me this week by a generous colleague - she gave me hers after I admired it! I have worn it almost every day. It goes with everything!

"Manimilist Parenting?" Yes, please. Although, frankly, it just sounds like the way our parents raised us thirty years ago...

We dyed eggs this week, and I made a conscious decision to NOT do anything fancy, Pinterest be damned! We were not alone.

After a warm & sunny day yesterday and then a wet and cold egg hunt today, I'm definitely identifying with this post.


We start dress rehearsals tomorrow, but I'm hoping to get a few posts up this week, including the first post from B!

Have a great week!

And we call this "work..."

© Glenn Fajota

Last weekend we had a long day of rehearsal and then required attendance at Virginia Opera's annual gala dinner. We were tired and not entirely looking forward to a night "on" after work, but it turned out to be an incredible evening. Good food (and wine!), lovely patrons, and fun performances. And look at these gorgeous momentos!

© Glenn Fajota

B and I both had to sing our "party hits," and while I chose the flirty "Quando m'en vo" from La Boheme - Is there a more perfect piece for seducing donors??  - Matt opted for something more personal. 

© Glenn Fajota

He sang "My Funny Valentine," which just so happens to be Our Song.  It was so emotional for me, and such a sweet thing for him to share with this audience, all of whom know that we are singing Susanna and Figaro next week. I know they will see this romance onstage as well!

Many, many thanks to Glenn Fajota for these gorgeous photos!

Taking Turns

After three intense weeks of rehearsal - 6-8 hours a day, 6 days a week - along with a couple family hiccups that added stress, we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Last night we had our “final room run,” the last run-through of the opera in the rehearsal room before we head to the stage. It is a major turning point in the process, indicating that we will move from day rehearsals to night and from two blocks of rehearsal to one. It’s a big shift in schedule, and one that helps prepare us for the actual run of the show, which, matinees aside, means working at night.

For our family, on this gig, it means getting back to having our days with Henry. It’s been hard to leave him with a sitter every day, only getting home for an hour before bedtime. I don’t know how parents with “normal” jobs do it every day! We miss him! Today is the first day that we’ll all be together until the sitter comes at 5pm, and we are enjoying the return to something resembling our Normal.

In our house we have no “primary.” No primary caregiver, no primary income-earner. We are truly split 50/50, and we’re reminded of this every year when we do our taxes. We can see on paper that we spend almost equal time at home and on the road, and our incomes are almost identical. So what does this mean for running our household? It means we have to take turns.

We take turns making dinner, doing housework, managing paperwork, and, most importantly, taking “first shift,” or getting up with Henry in the morning. Of course, there are some tasks that we understand the other to better suited for, and we don’t try to force it. So we don’t take turns, generally, with grocery shopping (that’s B’s territory) and deep cleaning (ACB). Each according to his strengths, right?

Today was my turn to take First Shift, so Henry and I had a lovely hour or so of breakfast and legos before B woke up. After he had his breakfast and coffee, B took over. Today that meant taking Henry to the local “bounce house” while I had a couple hours of precious quiet time. I tidied a bit, gave some thought to dinner, sat and wrote for an hour, and soon will take a shower without any pressure to get out quickly. Tomorrow, I will sleep in and then relieve B after my oatmeal smoothie (believe it! recipe to come!); I’ll probably take Henry to the library for story time and try to finagle my way into a short-term membership. 

We have used this First Shift system for over a year now, and it works so well. When one of us is singing a gig and the other is in the “support” role, we are open to diverging from the plan, allowing the working parent to sleep in on the day of a show (or after a long opening night party). Adjustments are made to the rest of the day in those cases, making sure that each parent gets some time “off,” time to take care of other business and to clear their head from the grind of parenting a toddler. But we both understand that rest is crucial to vocal health, and so we take on the lion’s share of parenting when the other is in performance mode. 

When people ask how we do it as a two-singer family, this is always the first thing I think of. We take turns. It all balances out in the end. 

Our Story

Two weeks ago, B and I started working on Le nozze di Figaro at Virginia Opera, our first time singing an opera together since we met five years ago. Today we got the chance to sit down with a reporter and tell her “our story.” How we met, how we fell in love, how we started our life together and how that life is influenced by our careers as opera singers. It was wonderful to spend an hour traveling down memory lane, and it gave me the kick I needed to sit down for the first time in quite a while and write.

I’ve been wanting to start (another) blog for a while now but have been waiting for inspriation to strike. I don’t want to write a “mommy blog,” and I don’t want to write about my career any more, but - let’s be honest - what else do I have passion about and energy for these days? So when B and I started working together this month, an idea started to form. What about us? How about a blog about our crazy life? And not an Instagram-filled polished presentation of an idealized version of our life, but a real look at the way we (somehow, miraculously) make it all work. The agony and the ecstasy. There is plenty of both in our lives, as there is in anyone’s life who is truly and fully living, and we’d like to share some of that with you here.

So, welcome to MOM & POPera, the internet’s first parenting-opera-travel-food blog! I hope we can share our story in a way that is appealing to opera lovers, parents, and opera-loving parents. Here is a bit of what I hope we can share with you over time:

The Agony
Logistics, logistics, logistics.
Separation.
Maintaining top vocal form and performance energy
Creating a new infrastucture for Henry in each new location
Eating well and staying fit on the road
Travel: planes, trains, and automobiles

The Ecstasy
Lots of time with our son, our extended family, each other
Opportunities to experience incredible food, wine, parties
Limelight and personal validation
Making new friends
Creating art for a living, being surrounded by incredible artists
Travel: longterm stays in cities around the world

Come along for the ride - and let us know what you want to know! We’re writing new chapters daily around here.