Monday Miscellany

All my favorite blogs post "weekend links," a collection of things they've taken note of during their Internet browsing through the week. I'm guessing that for those who blog as a job take the weekend off from writing, and so they put this list up to entertain their readers while they're quiet for a couple days. But we don't have "weekends," per se, so instead we'll start your week off right with our Monday Miscellany posts. Enjoy!


We talk a lot about screen time regulations for Henry, a member of the Touch Screen Generation. We limit access, but we definitely use it, both as a tool for learning and for entertaining.


I wore my hair like this for the Virginia Opera Gala last weekend. It was a perfect match for my Grecian-style gown.

I'm so happy for Lucy and her new studio! Everyone needs a room of their own, yes?

This scarf was given to me this week by a generous colleague - she gave me hers after I admired it! I have worn it almost every day. It goes with everything!

"Manimilist Parenting?" Yes, please. Although, frankly, it just sounds like the way our parents raised us thirty years ago...

We dyed eggs this week, and I made a conscious decision to NOT do anything fancy, Pinterest be damned! We were not alone.

After a warm & sunny day yesterday and then a wet and cold egg hunt today, I'm definitely identifying with this post.


We start dress rehearsals tomorrow, but I'm hoping to get a few posts up this week, including the first post from B!

Have a great week!

And we call this "work..."

© Glenn Fajota

Last weekend we had a long day of rehearsal and then required attendance at Virginia Opera's annual gala dinner. We were tired and not entirely looking forward to a night "on" after work, but it turned out to be an incredible evening. Good food (and wine!), lovely patrons, and fun performances. And look at these gorgeous momentos!

© Glenn Fajota

B and I both had to sing our "party hits," and while I chose the flirty "Quando m'en vo" from La Boheme - Is there a more perfect piece for seducing donors??  - Matt opted for something more personal. 

© Glenn Fajota

He sang "My Funny Valentine," which just so happens to be Our Song.  It was so emotional for me, and such a sweet thing for him to share with this audience, all of whom know that we are singing Susanna and Figaro next week. I know they will see this romance onstage as well!

Many, many thanks to Glenn Fajota for these gorgeous photos!

Taking Turns

After three intense weeks of rehearsal - 6-8 hours a day, 6 days a week - along with a couple family hiccups that added stress, we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Last night we had our “final room run,” the last run-through of the opera in the rehearsal room before we head to the stage. It is a major turning point in the process, indicating that we will move from day rehearsals to night and from two blocks of rehearsal to one. It’s a big shift in schedule, and one that helps prepare us for the actual run of the show, which, matinees aside, means working at night.

For our family, on this gig, it means getting back to having our days with Henry. It’s been hard to leave him with a sitter every day, only getting home for an hour before bedtime. I don’t know how parents with “normal” jobs do it every day! We miss him! Today is the first day that we’ll all be together until the sitter comes at 5pm, and we are enjoying the return to something resembling our Normal.

In our house we have no “primary.” No primary caregiver, no primary income-earner. We are truly split 50/50, and we’re reminded of this every year when we do our taxes. We can see on paper that we spend almost equal time at home and on the road, and our incomes are almost identical. So what does this mean for running our household? It means we have to take turns.

We take turns making dinner, doing housework, managing paperwork, and, most importantly, taking “first shift,” or getting up with Henry in the morning. Of course, there are some tasks that we understand the other to better suited for, and we don’t try to force it. So we don’t take turns, generally, with grocery shopping (that’s B’s territory) and deep cleaning (ACB). Each according to his strengths, right?

Today was my turn to take First Shift, so Henry and I had a lovely hour or so of breakfast and legos before B woke up. After he had his breakfast and coffee, B took over. Today that meant taking Henry to the local “bounce house” while I had a couple hours of precious quiet time. I tidied a bit, gave some thought to dinner, sat and wrote for an hour, and soon will take a shower without any pressure to get out quickly. Tomorrow, I will sleep in and then relieve B after my oatmeal smoothie (believe it! recipe to come!); I’ll probably take Henry to the library for story time and try to finagle my way into a short-term membership. 

We have used this First Shift system for over a year now, and it works so well. When one of us is singing a gig and the other is in the “support” role, we are open to diverging from the plan, allowing the working parent to sleep in on the day of a show (or after a long opening night party). Adjustments are made to the rest of the day in those cases, making sure that each parent gets some time “off,” time to take care of other business and to clear their head from the grind of parenting a toddler. But we both understand that rest is crucial to vocal health, and so we take on the lion’s share of parenting when the other is in performance mode. 

When people ask how we do it as a two-singer family, this is always the first thing I think of. We take turns. It all balances out in the end. 

Our Story

Two weeks ago, B and I started working on Le nozze di Figaro at Virginia Opera, our first time singing an opera together since we met five years ago. Today we got the chance to sit down with a reporter and tell her “our story.” How we met, how we fell in love, how we started our life together and how that life is influenced by our careers as opera singers. It was wonderful to spend an hour traveling down memory lane, and it gave me the kick I needed to sit down for the first time in quite a while and write.

I’ve been wanting to start (another) blog for a while now but have been waiting for inspriation to strike. I don’t want to write a “mommy blog,” and I don’t want to write about my career any more, but - let’s be honest - what else do I have passion about and energy for these days? So when B and I started working together this month, an idea started to form. What about us? How about a blog about our crazy life? And not an Instagram-filled polished presentation of an idealized version of our life, but a real look at the way we (somehow, miraculously) make it all work. The agony and the ecstasy. There is plenty of both in our lives, as there is in anyone’s life who is truly and fully living, and we’d like to share some of that with you here.

So, welcome to MOM & POPera, the internet’s first parenting-opera-travel-food blog! I hope we can share our story in a way that is appealing to opera lovers, parents, and opera-loving parents. Here is a bit of what I hope we can share with you over time:

The Agony
Logistics, logistics, logistics.
Separation.
Maintaining top vocal form and performance energy
Creating a new infrastucture for Henry in each new location
Eating well and staying fit on the road
Travel: planes, trains, and automobiles

The Ecstasy
Lots of time with our son, our extended family, each other
Opportunities to experience incredible food, wine, parties
Limelight and personal validation
Making new friends
Creating art for a living, being surrounded by incredible artists
Travel: longterm stays in cities around the world

Come along for the ride - and let us know what you want to know! We’re writing new chapters daily around here.