Monday, April 22, 2013

Monday Miscellany

There are so many things I want to share this week that warrant their own thoughtful post, so I'm hoping to carve our more time for writing this week. Until then...


I gave B a knife skills class for Christmas, and now we're both obsessed with our chef's knife! I love these tutorials; I always wondered how to shred cabbage!

I wish I were in NYC to see this at the NYC Film Festival. Dessay is my kind of singing-actress!

Next winter, imagine battle NYC's dry winter air with this.

A great post on the merits of studying music in college.

Yes, PLEASE. Let's make the conversation about jobs and kids one that involves both sexes.

This article explains why I don't (often) put filters on my crappy iPhone pics. Definitely going to write more about this...



Have a great week!


Order out of Chaos, Part 2


(After I wrote this post, I realized it is a partner to this post. So let’s call it a series, as I have a feeling I’m going to be talking about “the R-word” a lot here on this blog...) 

I don’t know why I always couch discussions of our Routine in terms of Henry’s needs; I crave structure and routine just as much as he does, if not more. And not just routine, but order. That whole “a place for everything yada yada yada” is hard to live by when the place is different every 3-6 weeks. I feel like my life is comprised of nothing but packing, unpacking, organizing, cleaning - and then repacking and starting it all over again. 

For the past week we’ve been staying with B’s folks outside Richmond, which meant we had to commute up to Fairfax for performances over the weekend. We spent the night on Friday, so we packed up a small overnight bag. No big deal, right? But! In order to clear out a suitcase to take, I had to empty all of Henry’s clothes onto the extra bed, and I had to take a few things from this bag and a few from that and where is the phone charger? and don’t forget your music and on and on. Now the weekend - 12 hours of driving and 8 hours of performing - is over... and everything needs to find its way back to Order.

How I wish I were the kind of person who thrived in chaos! As a military “brat,” I had the luxury of reinventing myself every time we moved. I remember distinctly deciding, the summer before 5th grade, that when we moved in the fall I would turn over a new leaf and get organized. Until that point, I had regularly been That Kid, running screaming for the school bus, “wait for me!!” because I was slow and disorganized and dawdled over my breakfast. I was ready to gain some control over my environment, so when we moved to Maine (way, way up north), I became “a neat freak.”

B said he understood this aspect of my personality when he heard an interview with Stephen Sondheim. He likes to do crosswords every day, and when the interviewer asked him why, he said that he likes to “make order out of chaos.” Order out of chaos. My constant desire.

It’s really about control, isn’t it? As a military brat, I had very little control as my environment shifted every few years. Now, as an itinerant musician, it’s the same. I’m not in my own kitchen, bedroom, closet, bathroom for more than a few months out of the year. I feel displaced. So I try as best I create a feeling of order, of Place. Sometimes it works, but...

These days I’ve got three people’s stuff to order. So much stuff!! How I also wish I were the kind of person who could pack three pair of pants and five tops and call it good. We are NOT light packers in this family. Clothes and toys and extra sweaters and books and kitchen supplies and more clothes and toys and books.

Hmm. I might be on to something here. I’m fighting this problem from both sides! Maybe the key to each is in the other. Pack less, have less chaos to control. 

I’ll have to work on that...



Thursday, April 18, 2013

Checking in

Remember when I said this month was going to be crazy?

Yeah. Well, it has begun. We relocated to Richmond on Tuesday, "moving in" with B's parents for a couple weeks. Henry made the transition seamlessly; he's thrilled to be spending time with his grandparents. (And if you'll allow me a parenting brag, he didn't have any potty-training regression when we made the move! No more diapers!)

We've had a couple of quiet days, hitting the Science Museum in Richmond, riding bikes and tractors (aka lawn mowers), and running and rolling around the big back yard. We've mostly maintained our preferred family rhythm, just embellished with grandparent time! I haven't quite found my writing rhythm here yet, but I didn't want to let too many days go by without a post.

Packing to leave Norfolk was not too bad; it's so much easier to pack up a "home on the road" than it is to pack up and leave Home. You just take all the stuff that is yours, everything you came with, and pack it up! No need to hem and haw and decide what to take and what to leave. The hardest part was saying goodbye to Beverly, the sweet lady who sits at the apartment front desk and who formed a deep bond with Henry. True, that bond was formed mostly because she gave him treats every time she saw him, but there was a very sweet "mutual admiration society" going on there. Add her to the long list of wonderful people we know so briefly in this lifestyle...

Tomorrow B & I drive up to Fairfax and get back into Figaro-land! We'll spend the night up there, come back home on Saturday, and then drive up again for the Sunday matinee. Lots of driving time for us, but it's worth it for Henry to have a settled place with people he loves. We hope to connect with several friends from our summers at Wolf Trap, hosts and colleagues and friends. And, I'm not going to deny it, I'm really looking forward to sleeping in a hotel bed. Pillows!!

I can't wait to see how our show has grown as it has had time to "simmer" over the past few days. We'll brush-up on the recitatives a few hours before the show; that will help get us back in the game and - hopefully! - prevent any train wrecks on stage. We'll let you know how it goes!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Monday Miscellany



It's tax day! I just dropped off a dozen manila envelopes with the friendly post office worker here in Norfolk, one federal and eleven - yes, eleven! - state returns. I still remember the moment years ago when I realized I had to file a return for every state in which I worked. All of a sudden my traveling gig seemed much less glamorous...

B and I had our monthly finance meeting a few days ago, going over our irregular income and regular bills and seeing how they will line up for the next few months. We're getting used to big windfalls of income (for example, this month we'll make about 30% of our income for the year) followed by stretches of smaller or, as in July this year, no income. Budgeting is not our strong suit, but we are making great progress and I'm really proud of us.

Anyway, now that my big to-do list is ticked off for the day, it's time to start packing up. We'll drive to B's parents' house tomorrow, so we're taking a slow day here in Norfolk to clean and organize and pack. Here's the start of a great week!


We have a balance bike for Henry, and this is why.

Do hard things. They are worth the extra effort.

Alan Held shares his journey to Hans Sachs.

Flower sandwiches!

B and I often talk of "the monkey mind;" smartphones definitely make it harder to control.


I'm loving the weekly themes at All For the Boys; this week: Building!


Have a great week!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Logistics: making order out of chaos


Matt pointed out that our last two posts have been about food. Guess we think about eating a lot! But there is a lot more, of course: potty training, career “management” (photoshoot!) and - the big one - logistics.

The dichotomy of our lives is perfectly captured in those first two: potty-training and a photoshoot. We had an incredible 5-hour photoshoot with Glenn Fajota earlier this week, glamorous and fun and full of beautiful clothes and lights and props. (We should see the pictures today! I’m so excited!!) And then, a few days ago, Henry took a huge leap forward in the potty-training area, so we’ve been super-focused on that. 

I promise I’ll write more about both topics soon, but first let me give you a glimpse into the next few weeks of our life on the road. It goes a little something like this:

April 15th: After six weeks in Norfolk, we relocate to Richmond and live with B’s folks while finishing two weekends of Virginia Opera performances.
30th: relocate to Charlotte, SC, area for a week to stay with my folks while...
May 3-6: B goes to NYC for a concert.
8th-ish: Back to Richmond for a week before...
13th: We relocate to St. Louis, MO, where B will be singing in The Kiss at OTSL. Stay here mostly uninterrupted for six weeks, except... 
23-26: ACB goes to NYC for a concert

After we finish in St. Louis, we’re really not sure what’s happening. If our sublettors in NYC want to stay for an extra month, we might take our time heading back north. It’s always nice to have someone else pay your rent, right? We don’t have work in the NYC-area until August, so we *could* stay away most of the summer, but we will have been on the road for a long time by then. I’m thinking we’ll be ready to go home.

I’m going to start packing up this afternoon, hoping to send a big suitcase back to Richmond with B’s parents, who are coming to see the show tonight. A couple days ago I looked around the apartment here and realized we had things in every nook and cranny - as if we lived here! Six weeks is long enough that we start to feel like this is home. Henry gets bored and needs his toys rotated; the fridge has rotten leftovers in it; everyone is missing a sock or two. 

I’m not looking forward to the feeling of vagrancy that will hang over our heads for the next few weeks, but it’s part of the life. B & I are aleady talking about “survival strategies,” how to make sure we stay connected as a family amid the chaos. Schedules and routines (or rhythms, as we try to call them) will be crucial, making sure that each day (or week) contains many of the same elements at approximately the same times. A little anchor in the upheaval. 

Daily, we prefer that our rhythm go something like this:   breakfast, play
   out-of-the-house activity
   lunch
   quiet time (naps seem to be dwindling in frequency...)
   tv time, books
   running around like a crazy child
   dinner
   bath/books/bed

Not that involved, right? But harder than you’d think, trying to maintain that in a new place with new people and new beds and new things all the time. We’re all getting better about it, but it takes work. Not so much work, maybe, as forethought.

Weekly, we aim for a mix of out-of-the-house activities: museums, libraries, bounce houses, zoos and aquariums, gardens and farmers markets, hikes and bike rides. B is great about researching a new area to see what is available, and we’ve found some truly special and memorable places and things in our travels. The Hanover farmer’s markets, unforgettable tonkatsu in Tokyo, a wildlife safari outside Palm Beach, FL, and, most recently, the splash park at the Norfolk Botanical Garden. (The top picture was taken there yesterday, when B & I taught Henry how to roll down a hill! Always best to teach by example, right?)


As nervous as we may be about the upcoming disorder and disarray, I am excited to see what new discoveries we’ll make. New places for a new family experience, new memories, new people. 




Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Cheater's Pumpkin Muffins

I’m trying something new today.


It’s Matt’s turn to take first shift, and instead of sleeping for an extra hour (I got 7.5 last night; why be greedy?), I’m writing. There is beautiful light in the bedroom here in Norfolk, and my window overlooks a canal with a busy foot bridge and a row of charming townhouses, each unique. The sky is clear and the air is filled with pollen the sounds of birds and trolleys and distant traffic. I have coffee and one of my Cheater’s Pumpkin Muffins at my side. It almost feels like I have a tower, afterall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the hardest things for us on the road is eating well. Think about when you travel: do your eating habits change? Airport food, car trip food, vacation food... We kind of live in that culinary limbo 60% of the time - or more! Add to that the strange hours at which we often eat, and we’re faced with a real challenge in terms of eating well. 

Matt and I both quit fast food years ago, and we both love to cook, so we do eat a lot of our meals at home, where ever that may be at the time. We’ve learned to travel with a sharp knife and a cutting board, a basic spice kit, a box grater, and a few other kitchen things (plus a power strip, blackout curtains, and enough toys to fill FAO Schwartz, but that’s another post), because it’s always easier to cook when you have proper tools. Whenever we can, we prepare fresh ingredients in healthy ways, doing our best to combat the short-cut food and restaurant food as best we can. It’s not hard, really; just takes some planning and 30-45 minutes in the kitchen.

But baking is another story. I know that I *could* buy all the ingredients for muffins and cookies and things, but I feel guilty buying a big bag of flour/sugar/baking powder/etc., using it once, and then leaving it behind when we pack up. So I take advantage of one wonderful shortcut: the boxed cake mix. I love the feeling of taking something warm out of the oven, and I want Henry to grow up eating “homemade” treats, even if I have to cheat a little from time to time. 

So, with the help of Pinterest, I’ve perfected the pumpkin muffin. Endlessly variable, packing at least 1/2 a serving of veggies, and quick to throw together, even especially with a toddler helper.

Cheater’s Pumpkin Muffins

1 smashed ripe banana
1 14oz can purreed pumpkin (not pie filling)
1 box cake mix - your choice, we love spice cake
1 egg

Mix all ingredients, then fill muffin tins. Bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Easy as (pumpkin) pie!

Here are a few of my favorite add-in combinations:

Chocolate cake mix, nuts, chocolate chips: rich and gooey, it’s like a brownie - but with 1/2 a serving of vegetables and very little fat!

Yellow cake mix, grated carrot, chopped toasted walnuts, cream cheese frosting: your new favorite carrot cake!

Spice cake mix, oatmeal, carrots, raisins: I never feel guilty about Henry eating three of these...




The possibilities are endless! Make them as healthy or as dedadent as you like. Even if you cook in the same kitchen every day, this is a shortcut worth taking from time to time.  


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Monday Miscellany

A short list this week! We are recovering from a fantastic opening night, a real dream come true. Matt sprained his thumb at the end of Act 1 and sang the rest of the night with a makeup covered Ace bandage around his hand! The show must go on.

We're prepping for a headshot / publicity shot session tomorrow with the same photographer who took these amazing pictures, Glenn Fajota. I am beyond excited!! We may or may not be using enormous feathered angel wings...

Stay tuned for pics soon! For now, some Monday Miscellany:


I'm so happy that we are in performances now; we'll have time to have days like this again...

A friend from college is working on Broadway in the new Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm so proud of him!

A beautiful post about life and work (parenting and art) existing side-by-side, intertwined. Messy. Worth it.

Are you practicing well? As with so many things, it's quality over quantity that matters.

Great idea to combine meetings and walking. Next time I schedule coffee with a friend, I might see if we can get it to go!

These Rules of Dinner are so wonderful, especially No.'s 3, 33, 49, & 77.


Have a great week!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Ah il matino alle nozze vicino!

A quick post from backstage: it's opening night and we are so excited!!

It's been a great day; we were operating on all cylinders as a family (well, minus Henry's nap which he seems to be dropping. NO!!) and everybody got the relaxation they needed. Voices feel good, dinner was eaten at 4:30, and opening night gifts are wrapped up and delivered.

Our day started on a very sweet note, with this article from the Viginian-Pilot. It's the profile they interviewed us for a few weeks ago, and boy howdy! Did she ever capture us. It is a very candid, very intimate portrait; I'm almost embarrassed by it. Almost.

We'll have more to say after our big night tonight! Here we go!!



Friday, April 5, 2013

Role-playing


Every day for the past many weeks, whenever one of us has to go to work, Henry goes through his routine lamenting our departure. There aren’t tears anymore, usually, but he says the same words in the same voice. Every time. 

So it was with great relish that we turned the tables on him earlier this week. We took advantage of the weekly rate we’d established with our sitter, asking her to take Henry our for a while so we could get a few free hours at home the day after our first dress rehearsal. As they were putting on shoes and coats, we said, “But... Henry, I don’t want you to go!”

He looked at us for a minute, and then didn’t miss a beat. “I know, Mommy, but I have to go,” exactly the words we say back to him. It was so cool! We played the scene out completely, even singing the Daniel Tiger song using Henry’s name instead of the word grownups: “Henry comes back!”

We opened to door for him and kissed him goodbye, just as he does for us, and when the door was closed, we might have high-fived each other. It felt like a parenting victory! So often the lessons we teach our children go by unnoticed, uncelebrated. But in this moment we felt like we could actually see Henry learning about saying goodbye and coming back. And sure enough, when he did come back later that afternoon, we ran to greet him and hug him, shouting, “You came back!!”

Just as he does for us. 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Meal Jet Lag

"Hey, I'm Sarah and I'll be taking care of you."

"Hey Sarah, I'm Matt and we are on a tight schedule. Can we give you our order now? Great. Oh, and you can go ahead and bring me the check? We'll settle that up so we can make a dash when we're done eating."

All of this happened yesterday prior to our first orchestra dress rehearsal. We had plenty of time to enjoy our meal and make our 5:30 make-up calls., but I did set an alarm on my iPhone for 5:15. This is a trick I have used to help me relax during hurried off-schedule meals: Order is IN. Alarm is SET. Now I can enjoy the 30-45 minutes of down time before singing. 

This is not an uncommon scene these days. We often have meals at unusual times because of our rehearsal or because we are eating on a toddler's schedule. The rehearsal schedule at most opera companies is broken up into three blocks of time. Typically 10 a.m.-1 p.m., 2 p.m.-5 p.m., or 7 p.m.-10 p.m. but sometimes 12 p.m.-3 p.m., 5 p.m.-8 p.m. or 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 430 p.m.-730p.m. You get the picture. It's not predictable.

How does this line up with our toddler's schedule? Well, it doesn't. Henry has breakfast between 7-8 a.m. He is usually ready for lunch by 11 which puts dinner around 5. I know, I know; these are nursing home meal hours, but they are MY nursing home meal hours. If you are a parent, you are familiar with these approximate hours. I spend more time with Henry than I do rehearsing operas, so my stomach stays on my home schedule. So, when we are in rehearsal from 10am-1pm, we are hungry for lunch at the short break around 11:30. Then at the lunch break at 1 p.m., we have to snack again to get through the 2 p.m.-5 p.m. rehearsal. In some ways it's like we have meal jet lag. Our bodies are telling us it is time to eat but the rest of our world is eating an hour and a half later. 

When rehearsals go until 10pm or later, it is usual for everyone to go and replenish the calories spent singing and jumping around on stage with a "meal". I love to go and grab a nice glass of wine or an adult beverage with a few small plates. But Mother Time catches up to you, and she never forgets. Too many late nights and that 7am wake-up will start to feel like a cold bucket of water dumped on your head in the middle of deep sleep. "I'm Up! I'm Up!" 

So, instead,  we come right home, relieve the babysitter, and have a glass of wine and something yummy to munch on. And then wake-up ready to see what meal confusion the new day will bring.

Promo videos!

Virginia Opera has a crackerjack media & marketing team, and we have participated in several promotional videos and interviews. In our first week here, we sat down to film a "why should I come see this opera?" video, and I love the way it turned out. Check it out!



Also, Glenn Winters, aka Dr. Opera, has a cute and quirky take on the opening duet between Figaro and Susanna. We didn't sing for this one, instead passing the baton to our covers, Virginia Opera Emerging Artists Ashley Logan and Edward Hanlon. They're great!



This morning we sent Henry off with his sitter, and we're enjoying a quiet few hours at home, playing catch-up with the business side of our lives - paying bills, writing emails, updating websites. It feels absolutely indulgent. But with both of us working on this gig, we need this catch-up time or we'll sink! It's not indulgent, it's necessary. In a way, it's work. Work I can do in my pajamas.

Aaaaahhhh....

Three days until Opening Night!