Logistics: making order out of chaos

Matt pointed out that our last two posts have been about food. Guess we think about eating a lot! But there is a lot more, of course: potty training, career “management” (photoshoot!) and - the big one - logistics.

The dichotomy of our lives is perfectly captured in those first two: potty-training and a photoshoot. We had an incredible 5-hour photoshoot with Glenn Fajota earlier this week, glamorous and fun and full of beautiful clothes and lights and props. (We should see the pictures today! I’m so excited!!) And then, a few days ago, Henry took a huge leap forward in the potty-training area, so we’ve been super-focused on that. 

I promise I’ll write more about both topics soon, but first let me give you a glimpse into the next few weeks of our life on the road. It goes a little something like this:

April 15th: After six weeks in Norfolk, we relocate to Richmond and live with B’s folks while finishing two weekends of Virginia Opera performances.

30th: relocate to Charlotte, SC, area for a week to stay with my folks while...

May 3-6: B goes to NYC for a concert.

8th-ish: Back to Richmond for a week before...

13th: We relocate to St. Louis, MO, where B will be singing in The Kiss at OTSL. Stay here mostly uninterrupted for six weeks, except... 

23-26: ACB goes to NYC for a concert. 

After we finish in St. Louis, we’re really not sure what’s happening. If our sublettors in NYC want to stay for an extra month, we might take our time heading back north. It’s always nice to have someone else pay your rent, right? We don’t have work in the NYC-area until August, so we *could* stay away most of the summer, but we will have been on the road for a long time by then. I’m thinking we’ll be ready to go home.

I’m going to start packing up this afternoon, hoping to send a big suitcase back to Richmond with B’s parents, who are coming to see the show tonight. A couple days ago I looked around the apartment here and realized we had things in every nook and cranny - as if we lived here! Six weeks is long enough that we start to feel like this is home. Henry gets bored and needs his toys rotated; the fridge has rotten leftovers in it; everyone is missing a sock or two. 

I’m not looking forward to the feeling of vagrancy that will hang over our heads for the next few weeks, but it’s part of the life. B & I are aleady talking about “survival strategies,” how to make sure we stay connected as a family amid the chaos. Schedules and routines (or rhythms, as we try to call them) will be crucial, making sure that each day (or week) contains many of the same elements at approximately the same times. A little anchor in the upheaval. 

Daily, we prefer that our rhythm go something like this:   breakfast, play

   out-of-the-house activity

   lunch

   quiet time (naps seem to be dwindling in frequency...)

   tv time, books

   running around like a crazy child

   dinner

   bath/books/bed

Not that involved, right? But harder than you’d think, trying to maintain that in a new place with new people and new beds and new things all the time. We’re all getting better about it, but it takes work. Not so much work, maybe, as forethought.

Weekly, we aim for a mix of out-of-the-house activities: museums, libraries, bounce houses, zoos and aquariums, gardens and farmers markets, hikes and bike rides. B is great about researching a new area to see what is available, and we’ve found some truly special and memorable places and things in our travels. The Hanover farmer’s markets, unforgettable tonkatsu in Tokyo, a wildlife safari outside Palm Beach, FL, and, most recently, the splash park at the Norfolk Botanical Garden. (The top picture was taken there yesterday, when B & I taught Henry how to roll down a hill! Always best to teach by example, right?)

As nervous as we may be about the upcoming disorder and disarray, I am excited to see what new discoveries we’ll make. New places for a new family experience, new memories, new people. 

Cheater's Pumpkin Muffins

I’m trying something new today.

It’s Matt’s turn to take first shift, and instead of sleeping for an extra hour (I got 7.5 last night; why be greedy?), I’m writing. There is beautiful light in the bedroom here in Norfolk, and my window overlooks a canal with a busy foot bridge and a row of charming townhouses, each unique. The sky is clear and the air is filled with pollen the sounds of birds and trolleys and distant traffic. I have coffee and one of my Cheater’s Pumpkin Muffins at my side. It almost feels like I have a tower, afterall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the hardest things for us on the road is eating well. Think about when you travel: do your eating habits change? Airport food, car trip food, vacation food... We kind of live in that culinary limbo 60% of the time - or more! Add to that the strange hours at which we often eat, and we’re faced with a real challenge in terms of eating well. 

Matt and I both quit fast food years ago, and we both love to cook, so we do eat a lot of our meals at home, where ever that may be at the time. We’ve learned to travel with a sharp knife and a cutting board, a basic spice kit, a box grater, and a few other kitchen things (plus a power strip, blackout curtains, and enough toys to fill FAO Schwartz, but that’s another post), because it’s always easier to cook when you have proper tools. Whenever we can, we prepare fresh ingredients in healthy ways, doing our best to combat the short-cut food and restaurant food as best we can. It’s not hard, really; just takes some planning and 30-45 minutes in the kitchen.

But baking is another story. I know that I *could* buy all the ingredients for muffins and cookies and things, but I feel guilty buying a big bag of flour/sugar/baking powder/etc., using it once, and then leaving it behind when we pack up. So I take advantage of one wonderful shortcut: the boxed cake mix. I love the feeling of taking something warm out of the oven, and I want Henry to grow up eating “homemade” treats, even if I have to cheat a little from time to time. 

So, with the help of Pinterest, I’ve perfected the pumpkin muffin. Endlessly variable, packing at least 1/2 a serving of veggies, and quick to throw together, even especially with a toddler helper.

Cheater’s Pumpkin Muffins

1 smashed ripe banana

1 14oz can purreed pumpkin (not pie filling)

1 box cake mix - your choice, we love spice cake

1 egg

Mix all ingredients, then fill muffin tins. Bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Easy as (pumpkin) pie!

Here are a few of my favorite add-in combinations:

Chocolate cake mix, nuts, chocolate chips: rich and gooey, it’s like a brownie - but with 1/2 a serving of vegetables and very little fat!

Yellow cake mix, grated carrot, chopped toasted walnuts, cream cheese frosting: your new favorite carrot cake!

Spice cake mix, oatmeal, carrots, raisins: I never feel guilty about Henry eating three of these...

The possibilities are endless! Make them as healthy or as dedadent as you like. Even if you cook in the same kitchen every day, this is a shortcut worth taking from time to time.  

Monday Miscellany

A short list this week! We are recovering from a fantastic opening night, a real dream come true. Matt sprained his thumb at the end of Act 1 and sang the rest of the night with a makeup covered Ace bandage around his hand! The show must go on.

We're prepping for a headshot / publicity shot session tomorrow with the same photographer who took these amazing pictures, Glenn Fajota. I am beyond excited!! We may or may not be using enormous feathered angel wings...

Stay tuned for pics soon! For now, some Monday Miscellany:


I'm so happy that we are in performances now; we'll have time to have days like this again...

A friend from college is working on Broadway in the new Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm so proud of him!

A beautiful post about life and work (parenting and art) existing side-by-side, intertwined. Messy. Worth it.

Are you practicing well? As with so many things, it's quality over quantity that matters.

Great idea to combine meetings and walking. Next time I schedule coffee with a friend, I might see if we can get it to go!

These Rules of Dinner are so wonderful, especially No.'s 3, 33, 49, & 77.


Have a great week!

Ah il matino alle nozze vicino!

A quick post from backstage: it's opening night and we are so excited!!

It's been a great day; we were operating on all cylinders as a family (well, minus Henry's nap which he seems to be dropping. NO!!) and everybody got the relaxation they needed. Voices feel good, dinner was eaten at 4:30, and opening night gifts are wrapped up and delivered.

Our day started on a very sweet note, with this article from the Viginian-Pilot. It's the profile they interviewed us for a few weeks ago, and boy howdy! Did she ever capture us. It is a very candid, very intimate portrait; I'm almost embarrassed by it. Almost.

We'll have more to say after our big night tonight! Here we go!!

Role-playing

Every day for the past many weeks, whenever one of us has to go to work, Henry goes through his routine lamenting our departure. There aren’t tears anymore, usually, but he says the same words in the same voice. Every time. 

So it was with great relish that we turned the tables on him earlier this week. We took advantage of the weekly rate we’d established with our sitter, asking her to take Henry our for a while so we could get a few free hours at home the day after our first dress rehearsal. As they were putting on shoes and coats, we said, “But... Henry, I don’t want you to go!”

He looked at us for a minute, and then didn’t miss a beat. “I know, Mommy, but I have to go,” exactly the words we say back to him. It was so cool! We played the scene out completely, even singing the Daniel Tiger song using Henry’s name instead of the word grownups: “Henry comes back!”

We opened to door for him and kissed him goodbye, just as he does for us, and when the door was closed, we might have high-fived each other. It felt like a parenting victory! So often the lessons we teach our children go by unnoticed, uncelebrated. But in this moment we felt like we could actually see Henry learning about saying goodbye and coming back. And sure enough, when he did come back later that afternoon, we ran to greet him and hug him, shouting, “You came back!!”

Just as he does for us. 

Meal Jet Lag

"Hey, I'm Sarah and I'll be taking care of you."

"Hey Sarah, I'm Matt and we are on a tight schedule. Can we give you our order now? Great. Oh, and you can go ahead and bring me the check? We'll settle that up so we can make a dash when we're done eating."

All of this happened yesterday prior to our first orchestra dress rehearsal. We had plenty of time to enjoy our meal and make our 5:30 make-up calls., but I did set an alarm on my iPhone for 5:15. This is a trick I have used to help me relax during hurried off-schedule meals: Order is IN. Alarm is SET. Now I can enjoy the 30-45 minutes of down time before singing. 

This is not an uncommon scene these days. We often have meals at unusual times because of our rehearsal or because we are eating on a toddler's schedule. The rehearsal schedule at most opera companies is broken up into three blocks of time. Typically 10 a.m.-1 p.m., 2 p.m.-5 p.m., or 7 p.m.-10 p.m. but sometimes 12 p.m.-3 p.m., 5 p.m.-8 p.m. or 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 430 p.m.-730p.m. You get the picture. It's not predictable.

How does this line up with our toddler's schedule? Well, it doesn't. Henry has breakfast between 7-8 a.m. He is usually ready for lunch by 11 which puts dinner around 5. I know, I know; these are nursing home meal hours, but they are MY nursing home meal hours. If you are a parent, you are familiar with these approximate hours. I spend more time with Henry than I do rehearsing operas, so my stomach stays on my home schedule. So, when we are in rehearsal from 10am-1pm, we are hungry for lunch at the short break around 11:30. Then at the lunch break at 1 p.m., we have to snack again to get through the 2 p.m.-5 p.m. rehearsal. In some ways it's like we have meal jet lag. Our bodies are telling us it is time to eat but the rest of our world is eating an hour and a half later. 

When rehearsals go until 10pm or later, it is usual for everyone to go and replenish the calories spent singing and jumping around on stage with a "meal". I love to go and grab a nice glass of wine or an adult beverage with a few small plates. But Mother Time catches up to you, and she never forgets. Too many late nights and that 7am wake-up will start to feel like a cold bucket of water dumped on your head in the middle of deep sleep. "I'm Up! I'm Up!" 

So, instead,  we come right home, relieve the babysitter, and have a glass of wine and something yummy to munch on. And then wake-up ready to see what meal confusion the new day will bring.

Promo videos!

Virginia Opera has a crackerjack media & marketing team, and we have participated in several promotional videos and interviews. In our first week here, we sat down to film a "why should I come see this opera?" video, and I love the way it turned out. Check it out!



Also, Glenn Winters, aka Dr. Opera, has a cute and quirky take on the opening duet between Figaro and Susanna. We didn't sing for this one, instead passing the baton to our covers, Virginia Opera Emerging Artists Ashley Logan and Edward Hanlon. They're great!



This morning we sent Henry off with his sitter, and we're enjoying a quiet few hours at home, playing catch-up with the business side of our lives - paying bills, writing emails, updating websites. It feels absolutely indulgent. But with both of us working on this gig, we need this catch-up time or we'll sink! It's not indulgent, it's necessary. In a way, it's work. Work I can do in my pajamas.

Aaaaahhhh....

Three days until Opening Night!